From a young age, girls are taught that ‘boys will be boys’ and if a boy is naughty it’s basically expected, and that was that.
In school I remember that boys would lift girl’s skirts up, and a lot of boys that age would see girls as purely a sexual or romantic object rather than another human being – an equal. And that’s lead into relationships as we have gotten older, and how men treat women.
From previous relationships, I have looked back and noticed the absolute disrespect that I have received from such boys. I have looked at friends who have also been in relationships and I have personally seen the disrespect they’ve been treated with too. Now, I’m not saying that men don’t get disrespected because of course they fucking do, but usually men don’t take the disrespect and they end up getting on with their lives much quicker. However, women are a lot more likely to stay with their partners who have abused them because they were taught that ‘boys will be boys’, because it’s all a lot of us have been taught. Excuses are given to them for their undeniably wrong behaviour, and those excuses need to be taken away.
We live in a world where misogyny and sexism is finally being addressed. There’s a new rape case publicised every day, documentaries are highlighting these problems and police are taking them more seriously. Women are talking out more about catcalling, being constantly sexualised, and how they aren’t treated equally. But what a lot of women should be doing too is looking at their relationship and seeing if how they’re being treated is actually right, because it’s so easy to overlook the signs when you’re in it.
In coming out of a relationship recently, it has taught me that no woman should be treated in such a way. No woman should be made to feel like they are inferior, or that their feelings are less valid. Most girls/women that I have spoken to have been in a relationship, or have being seeing someone with whom treated them as less than an equal, with such less respect than they deserve and something needs to change about how the balance of these two should be in a loving relationship.
I am not bashing men, I am not ignoring the experiences they go through, but with living in such a patriarchal world I feel that it needs to be addressed when it comes to a relationship – how a man acts and what is right and wrong. How the importance of control and power for men, that dates back centuries, is still so prominent in many heterosexual relationships and within society.
To all the women who are still in relationships where they are treated less than they deserve:
– try and recognise the signs, and don’t feel as if you have to stay because you love them, or even if you’re too scared to be on your own. You deserve equality, you deserve respect, and every woman who is doing well independently or is in a loving and healthy relationship is a sure-fire example that you can be happy without that person.
To all the women who are out of such a toxic relationship:
– well done, you’re incredible and you’re fighting for your freedom to be who you are.
Rootin’ for ya all, and no matter what you decide to do – you’re absolutely allowed to feel any way that you do, you are worthy of so much love, and you are a magnificent human being.