I originally started this post about relationships and feelings. Then I realised that instead of concentrating on the negativity of shit relationships, to look instead at the positives. Within the past two months I have had so many people come to me with problems relating to their love lives, and family and friendship breakups. Friends have cried in front of me, told me how worthless and that they feel they’re not good enough, and how they somehow deserve to feel this way. It’s heartbreaking to see people close to you feel so broken down over one person, over temporary feelings that seem so permanent at the time.
This post is about self-love. A love that most people, including myself, haven’t fully got the hang of feeling.
Seeing people every day on social media and looking at your figure and thinking “Why can’t my body curve in that way?” or “Why can’t I be skinny enough like him/her?”, comparing every part of yourself because you don’t look the same as another person, ending up hating the shell of a body in which you inhabit. If you looked like them you wouldn’t be special anymore (cheesy, corny, but still true), and everybody wants to feel special. Look at the part of your body you don’t particularly like or wish that you could swap for the photo-shopped model in a magazine, and tell yourself that you are different and different is great.
Don’t shave your legs because you feel like that guy you like won’t find you attractive if you don’t. Don’t laugh at something if you don’t think it’s funny. Don’t feel like you have to be anything that you aren’t.
A friend of mine told me how you wouldn’t say to your best friend that they aren’t good enough or that they’re ugly or worthless, so why do we feel like it’s OK to say it to ourselves? And that rang so true, to me. What few people understand is that we need to be our own best friends. We are going to be fucked over by so many people throughout life – may it be love interests, family, friends, or work colleagues. It’s about the way you deal with those fucking overs that reflects on yourself, and inevitably decides how your life is going to turn out. It’s about picking yourself up when life starts spiraling, and it’s about making your life the way you want it to be because you, and only you, are the person who is going to have to live with it.
If something is causing you to feel shit, you need to try and turn that problem into a positive, and failing that cut the problem out altogether. Nothing is worth making your day turn upside down. Don’t ever feel guilty for being the person you are, or making the decisions that are right for you, or for being upset or angry over situations because in turn they may lead to happiness and that’s something few people have. Be who you are, and try and be the very best version, and don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for it.